Getting Things in Order

With the surgery date planned M. and I now had to get ready for the day and the 3 months period afterwards. As an unmarried 37 year old there were many parts of my personal affairs that have not been documented properly. As much as the surgery was routine and the chances of something bad happening were slim, I couldn't help but thinking that if things didn't go right during the operation, I needed to make sure my affairs were settled. First, I didn't want someone to deal with any personal mess around investments, mortgage or anything of the sort. Second, I wanted to make sure I left the company in a manageable state for the team. And third, I hoped to have a gathering with some friends to drink some wine, eat some good food and play some cards. Before I did any of the above however I needed to start informing people (family, friends, clients) of what was going to be happening.

My biggest worry was telling my parents. I had intentionally not informed them of all the lead up tests so that they wouldn't worry, but now the results and action were definitive. Before I told my parents I figured I'd warm up a bit with my boss and some close friends. Then, I couldn't delay it any longer. I picked up the phone and called home. My mom and dad were pretty shocked but as always they offered there full support--they would come up for the week of the surgery and stay until I recovered enough to do things on my own. I think it helps a bit that my dad had been through the procedure 5 years ago, so both he and my mom knew what was involved. In the following weeks I proceeded to informing everyone else. Next order of business was my affairs.

The personal stuff was pretty straight forward and actually something any responsible adult should do. I got in touch with a lawyer for the will and we laid out the basic will and living will. I then decided to attach a schedule "A" to my will--a special list of items that I wanted specific people to have. I also wanted explain why each item was given. It was funny for me to think about such things, but in the end I was happy because it made me relive some of the most special moments of my life. After the will, it was straight documentation. I bought Quicken about a year ago and discovered that it has a great personal information database. I opened up the feature and just started plugging away: emergency contacts, insurance, investments, bank accounts, etc. During this time I was also transitioning work.

The work stuff was less easy. Our company is pretty small, but we're working on some big projects and I was directly involved in 2. The first was an implementation in Quebec that required a French speaking expert. The second was a sales effort that had been going for the better part of six months and was the last (and biggest) part of our annual business plan. There was other stuff like administration, other accounts, partnership agreements, etc. Again I just hunkered down and tackled each one at a time. By the last day of work I felt pretty good about the transition. The team was behind me and the company was fully supporting me. The company sent me off with a going away lunch where I was presented with an adult size, custom fit, set of race car pyjamas, a housecoat with the company logo and a tub of bubble gum. I had a week between finishing work and my surgery date.

During my life I have created 7 close friendships, excluding the relationship I have with M. I treasure these friendships because each contains a bond that is almost family. My friend O. called during my transition and said that he wanted to spend a couple of days with me on the weekend prior to my operation. I thought it was a great idea and proceeded to set up a card night at my place the Friday prior to the surgery. I figured with O. in town I'd assemble the Ottawa based friends and we'd go from there. I like to cook and I like to entertain and I especially like to do both for my close friends and family. I set up the night and everyone was able to attend. We bought good expensive wine, we ate braised meet, we played cards, we deviated to calvados and bourbon and then finished off the evening with a fighting video game called Tekken. The success of the evening was clearly indicated by the severity of the collective hangover the next weekend. I had a great time and that time spent with my friends was special.